I Walk By Faith

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.  –Romans 10:17 KJV 

I have walked my entire life by faith. I have had to cling to my faith in God in order to face the multiple tragedies in my life. If not for my faith, I would have been crushed at any one of them. All of them would have destroyed me. But God is good, and did not leave me alone. He gave me tangible evidences of His abiding love and comfort along the way. I have life-long friends, (four I have known and loved since I was 12 and if I was in trouble, I could call on any of them and they would help me) my best friend I have known since I was 23 and she was 18, and they have all been there to encourage me, help me financially when needed, even give me and my boys a place to live when I was homeless.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. — 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV 

I cannot tell you the amount of fear I have faced in life. From a man who ended up on the FBI’s most wanted list to one who was dealing drugs on 18-wheelers from California to Utah. And trying to escape was scarier than any thriller movie. But the Lord saw me through it all. He gave me the courage to face down the man who held a knife to my throat, and to divorce the drug dealer, even though it left me homeless and penniless. My boys and I just began a new chapter.

Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief. — Mark 9:24 KJV

And then the new chapter came crashing down around my ears. My younger son, my sunshine, my troublemaker, my laughter, my heartache, was killed by a drunk driver. I never felt more disconnected to life. I wanted to climb in the casket with him. Oh, Junior, how could they take you away from me? So then, it was just James and me. Alone. Poor James. He just lost his best friend. With the help of one of those lifelong friends, we moved from the arms of my best friend back home. Totally defeated. But the Lord had other plans for me.

We love him, because he first loved us. — 1 John 4:18 KJV

It was a struggle, but I began college, and I began to work, and I met a man. I was never going to get married again. Never. I had no sense about how to choose a man. I just knew I would never be mistreated again.  So my Bishop told me to have him come and talk to him should I ever get serious. I thought that was a perfect plan. I did, and he did, and we have been married for over 20 years and have never had a fight. Never. But a year after we were married, 4 years after Junior died, James was also killed by a drunk driver. Too incredible for words to express. But God put in place all I would need to see me through this latest of tragedies. And my faith grows.

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. — Matthew 21:22

Now I struggle with health issues and I’m trying to get to the Mayo Clinic. There are problems with the insurance coverage and we’re trying to untangle all the wires. By now, I figure if I do all I can, I’ll leave the rest up to the Lord. And if it’s His will for me to get there, I will. If not, we’ll find another way, another answer. But I am praying, and I am believing. If you are a praying person, will you pray with me? Thank you.

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