Did you think
that your situation was hopeless, that you were beyond help, beyond redemption? Did you think that your pain was just too much to bear, that no one understood, that you couldn’t climb over that last hurdle that tumbled in your way? You didn’t ask for it. You certainly didn’t want it. The spouse that walked out. The job that dried up. The house that you lost due to foreclosure. The child you had to bury. It was all too much.
Well, my friend,
I’m here to tell you that I faced it. I faced them all. And all in a period of six months. And it nearly destroyed me. I drifted emotionally far longer than I did physically. I got another job. My friend took me in. Eventually, I even remarried (to the love of my life). But you can’t unbury a child. You can’t give back life once it’s been taken away. My health suffered to the point I had three strokes among other issues.
You can see
how big I got! I had such emotional issues I found comfort in food. But it didn’t last. I would have found comfort in alcohol, but I don’t drink. And that would have been worse, maybe. The fact is, you can’t drown away your sorrows. There comes a time when you have to face them. The demons don’t go away by themselves.
I sought help.
I went to my church. I went to counseling. I went to friends. I went wherever there was someone who would listen until I got what I needed. And I went to the Lord. I sought Him out in prayer and in the scriptures. He put me with the people and resources I needed to help me to heal.
Still in the process
This is an ongoing process. I have had setbacks. Anyone who has read my blog knows that I have lost both my boys. It has been an incredible load to bear. But I am here to tell you that you can have joy despite the terror, despite the sorrow. I am living proof. God has been good to me. I know this is not the end, that there is more to life than this mortal existence, and that I can be with my loved ones again. But until then, there is joy here…in the 20+ years of marriage I have been blessed with to a good and faithful man, in the doctors who are unfailingly seeking out what is wrong with me and why I am losing weight at such an alarming rate, in the friends who stand by me, whether life-long, or Facebook, in my family who love me regardless.
Yes, there is joy.
Can you find joy now?