And they rose early in the morning, and went forth into the wilderness of Tekoa: and as they went forth, Jehoshaphat stood and said, Hear me, O Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem; Believe in the Lord your God, so shall ye be established; believe his prophets, so shall ye prosper.
Today I’m taking care of my soul. It’s the 25th anniversary of the death of my son James, and I’m missing him.
Life has continued, and through my faith in God, I’ve even found joy once again. But in the quiet hours of the night, I still wonder what life would have been had he lived. Would he be bald? He was already losing his hair. How would he be employed? He was expert in advertisement, but fell in love with restaurant work. Whatever he chose, he would have succeeded, because that’s who he was. Always optimisic, always faithful.
So today I’m eating simply, walking a bit, reading Anne of Green Gables (it was his favorite book) and writing.
Another year, but when we have that great reunion, I’ll look back and see it was as the blink of an eye, for eternity will surround us, and every tear will be dried.
Today is my best friend’s birthday. She’s sixty years old and we’ve been friends for forty two of those years. She has been with me through the deaths of both my boys.
I wouldn’t mention it except that tomorrow is the 25th anniversary of the death of my older son, James.
Friendship is a key component to healing a heart. She once called me up to ask me to tell her something, anything about him. It’s wonderful that she knew him, that I didn’t have to describe him to get my point across. Even more wonderful is that she asked about him at a time when most people in my life think I should be over it by now, that I should have moved on with my life long before now.
She understands how my life stopped when my boys died. She was a first hand witness of the devastation. She heard the cries, she saw the light go out in my eyes. And she knows how crucial it is to remember. Many people knew of his death, but she knew him in life. She saw him grow up. And memories are like photographs. How we love sharing them.
I’m grateful for such a friend who allows me to still cry, to still laugh, to share my boy.
Grief doesn’t get better, it just gets less often. If you have a grieving friend, don’t be afraid of mentioning their loved one. You won’t be “bringing up old memories” or “reminding” them. I can guarantee they remember…and it hurts to think nobody else does.
Do you have someone you can reach out to today with love and memories?
Flowers make me happy. And weeding gives me strength. Nothing like fresh air and flowers to lift my mind, body, and spirit. So, of course, I have to bring some inside.
I love my succulents. And I always buy flowers from the store. But my orchids are my favorite. They fill the room with such a beautiful perfume. From appearances, I might be getting at least three more sets of blooms. Exciting!
Perhaps flowers could be prescribed as an antidepressant, particularly cultivating them.
How are you cultivating your spirit this wellness Wednesday?
I decided to start this as a place for my random thoughts, a place for my personal beliefs, and to get back to why I originally started my blog.
I am creating a series of devotional/journals, the first being faith, the second, hope, the third, love, and the fourth based on the fact that if you have the first three, it equals joy.
It will be scripture based, with a commentary and a space for writing your thoughts. I don’t comment on interpretation of the scripture, but how a particular scripture helped me to cope with the deaths of my sons. In essence, it’s how I rose out of the grief in my heart to learning there still can be joy.
I will keep you posted on my progress. And when the time comes, I might ask for some beta readers, if anyone is interested.